In the episode under discussion, the annoying but somewhat attractive legallette beagle was supposed to mediate away the identity theft and credit card fraud of an illegal alien. However, the victim of the illegal alien's criminal activity was having nothing of it. In the mediation she took a photo of the illegal and promptly reporter her to ICE. The back story is that this illegal, who has no other relatives in the U.S., was enrolled in high school and needed a cell phone, so got an SSN on the black market to get started in life. And she was so motivated by her love of America, she used that stolen identity to enlist. Obviously no illegal ever does anything like trying to solve the credit problems of the identities they steal. That is certainly fiction.
While the military is desperate for enlistees for our adventures in serving as the slave of Islam, it is unlikely that they would have enlisted an obviously Hispanic woman with a white name without some inquiry, much less enlisted someone without a copy of their HS diploma and transcripts. You can't join without either and you can't get a set of transcripts or diploma in California except in person and only the person in question can get those.
While it is not unheard of for illegal aliens to enlist by fraud, they even get hired by DHS for various law enforcement positions, but they usually get caught. Interestingly enough, once she enlisted, she could have naturalized instantly, but the idiots at Fairly Legal did not do much research. As a matter of fact, the law is retro-active, and the poor illegal could have naturalized even after she got out.
Just as they did not do much research on ICE's enforcement policies. You can't just walk into an ICE office with a photo of an illegal and ICE places that illegal in proceedings. As I have shown ICE has "priorities" and arresting the average illegal is not one of them. And especially in San Francisco, where ICE does absolutely nothing. They just don't go out and arrest illegals, much less even send out a "run" letter to illegals advising them that they have a deportation hearing.
Another interesting aspect of this fictional account, is that we got an illegal from Honduras without any relatives here. Most illegals only come because they have a wide network of friends and relatives already here. Illegal immigration breeds more illegal immigration. How does an illegal get here as a child and go to school for years with no relatives? Unlikely.
But the stupidest line was the so-called attorney said that marriage to a U.S. citizen would not help. Actually, that is the quickest way to legal status, except for enlistment. Even more amusing was the ICE attorney who was a hard ass. No, ICE attorneys are notoriously ineffective and ever more willing to let illegals skate, especially if they had military service since 9/11.
One of the things that are accurate was that ICE attorneys are notoriously lax when dealing with the foibles of illegals who work for the rich and powerful. A DA with nanny problems is certainly believable, especially in the notoriously corrupt ICE San Francisco office.
Another unbelievable aspect of the story was the arrest in the lobby of the immigration court, what is actually not a DHS agency but a Department of Justice agency. No one runs your name for criminal checks when you go to court. Even more unbelievable is that no one out of custody gets a court date in less than a year. And ICE does not issue arrest warrants for aliens that they have already place in proceedings. Arrest comes first, then setting a hearing, not the other way. Furthermore, extorting ICE attorneys is not really possible. Only the rich and powerful, or the loud and whiny get "expedited" hearings. Now if said illegal had contacted Senator Dianne Feinstein or Barbara Botox Boxer, she might have been released. That is how it is done.
And no one is deported after one immigration hearing; those go on for years. And the hearings are not in some courtroom and the Hearing Officer is not in robes. The hearings are in tiny rooms with few chairs for spectators in cookie cutter buildings or, as in San Francisco, in rundown floors of older buildings.
But the most fictional part of this story was an illegal who was told by her parents she could not listen to Gloria Estaban because they wanted her to learn English. More likely is that an illegal never speaks anything but Spanish.
But immigration judges can't make contingent decisions. An alien either qualifies or not under the law, like Obama's aunt... In reality, an illegal's ability to stay depends not on the law, but connections, PR, or a good sob story.
So, the moral of these fractured fairy tales concerning immigration is don't believe anything you see on TV. Go to the experts. Here you will not be steered wrong. Thanks again to NOC for the tip for this posting.